No child’s birthday party would be complete without playing the amusing game, “pin the tail on the donkey.” Although I stopped playing that game years ago, it seems that federal circuits all over this country are taking jurors, blindfolding them with bad science, spinning them around in a maze of experts, and sending them off in any direction to deliberate and pin a verdict on the truth. Because it is analogous to pinning a tail on a donkey, polygraph evidence has always been a legal Pandora’s box, serving only to disable and disrupt the truth finding process. Accordingly, this Comment advocates excluding polygraph evidence from federal criminal courtrooms and allowing juries to perform their constitutional duty.